Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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