i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
