too bad you live with your parents still
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
