Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
