let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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