dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize