**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
