Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
