My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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