I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Randomize
