i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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