Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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