YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
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