he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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