At least make sure they are 18
Why
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
