I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
