At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
