i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
