I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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