You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
