As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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