I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
