You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
