So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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