The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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