Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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