I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize