You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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