Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
