# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
