i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
