he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
