Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize