OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
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