I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize