Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I would fuck him just for his dog
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
