Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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