i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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