Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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