Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
