Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
