Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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