she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
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