Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
