I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
