I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
