love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
