I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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