Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
