idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
