Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
