I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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