Betty ford says i'm here all night
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
