I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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