No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He felt like a one man threesome
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
i think i just lost a toe
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
