Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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