Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Boobs are out for the taking
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
