I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
