Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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