his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
