she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
