I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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