dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
