I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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