Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
nutella sex= disaster
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
