Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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