i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I can't turn off my feet"
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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