That's when you crack a 10am beer
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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