i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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