I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
