Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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