The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
