You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
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