I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
